Is it that you enjoy the risk of being exposed,
were a stranger to share your dicktures but turning that fantasy into the reality of becoming a potentially semi-famous dick is too scary? What gives? Usually I'm beating them off with a stick... that didn't come out right...
 |
| Honesty is the best policy. This guy is consistent with it, which is favourable to any lady keeping score, and it culminates in you scoring, sometimes. |
I have hundreds of unsolicited dicktures... hundreds, maybe thousands. But they're kinda no good to me without permission to post 'em. And fucked if I'm going to start a conversation with someone(s) best avoided, just to get material for this fucking blog. I talk to enough assholes in the course of a week- I mean, who responds to a dating profile, of a woman you'd presumably really like to spend time with, with a picture of their cock? No greeting, or discourse, civil or otherwise. Just the cock.
The answer is: lots of people. So, if it's not the fantasy of being exposed motivating those attachments, it's a matter of wanting to expose oneself to an unwilling audience, otherwise known as flashing, otherwise known as sexual assault. Creepy.
Regardless, the ironic nature of this predickament isn't lost on me. I did warn you Dear Readers that chicks asking for dicktures generally aren't chicks. But, there are the exceptions to every rule. In this instance, I am asking for a purpose, greater than my own petty masturbation needs... which brings me to another point in this unfocused rant:
Why is it so easy to find people who want to kill time at fairly meaningless pursuits but when it comes to productive ends, even the ones that require very little effort on your part, y'all scatter? Here's a little tip for ya: If you want the girl's attention, and the booty prize sometimes attached to that familiarity, you'll have a much greater chance if you can be of some use to her beyond having a cock... almost every man has a penis. It's simply not enough to stand out from the crowd, even if it is among the most amazing cocks of all time.
 |
| No... I have over 1700. And that's because I've knocked it down, looking for dicktures... |
Speaking of amazing and cock, I was privy to one of the top five, possibly top three, of all time dicktures last night, in my quest to gather material for y'all to be entertained by. The irony wasn't lost on that one either. I find a sample worthy of sharing and he won't let me use it. It's so good I'm tempted to just have him assassinated so I can write this fucking article without any copyright infringement troubles but alas, I lost all my contacts when my phone died and it's even harder to find a gunman for hire than it is to find dicktures willing to be seen on my blog. And aside from being hot, he seems like a nice and interesting fellow so I can't even shittalk him for denying you readers content worth being exposed to.
I will report on a phenomenon that is equally dismal and selfish. The "show me your tits and I'll give you some weak material you can work really hard to make usable". It's like trying to pay for Microsoft stock with Canadian Tire Money and then demanding to see Bill and Melissa go at it.
 |
| This is the fairest demand for a boner I have yet to encounter. This guy gets that I am a writer, not a model. We'll see if he delivers on his promise. |
 |
| This guy doesn't get it about words being worth a thousand pictures, and this is far more typical of the communications I receive. |
Can I take a moment to point out that Blogger is a free, all access forum, so you're not even paying in Canadian Tire Money, which is actually useful some of the time. So, to all you twats, who wanna be acting like I'm trying to scam you into some pay site or other, can fuck y'selves, even more than usual. It's hilariously funny when people accuse others of trying to earn a living honestly, like it was murder and rape, and not necessarily in that order.
 |
| This guy gets who donates what. He was smart, or lucky, enough to develop reading comprehension. It's amazing and rare, gold star for you, Mister!! |
If I was a stripper I'd receive no less bullshit from the Nut Gallery. But as I have pointed out numerous times, I am a writer, not a model. I work to pay for life, like most people, and entertain you for free with this blog while I build a cult following large enough to yield book sales someday down the road. How many hours do you spend volunteering for literacy every week? Ya, exactly, "It's STFU o'clock" with your ill-informed, and/or crazy biases about adult entertainers. Unless you really do volunteer for literacy efforts and then what could I really say to you? Frankly, I wouldn't have to because you're one of seventeen others on the planet, with the capacity to make your own pictures in your head...
 |
| This is just for you, Mister! |
It's not fucking rocket science, it's a business plan. Wildly transparent in all of it's simplicity, and obviously far too complex a concept for some.
In a world of liars, no one believes ya when you're tellin' the truth... didn't the same shit happen when I tried this before? Only I got more dicktures that time.
 |
| I think he thinks I have some technology they're not talking about in the mainstream. |
In conclusion, I'm not trying to convert prudes to a life of debaucherous exhibitionism. I am being upfront about finally having a use for all these dicktures and asking permission to use yours if you are so inclined to want to share it.
 |
| I have this file saved as "riveting" but in all fairness, this single photo sums up my point entirely. Thank you boner donor! Twice, I guess ;) |
Of course, I'll always find ways to use the shit I do come across, as can be seen blatantly by those of you who are reading these musings. And either way, we have fun, and that's all that really matters.
 |
| Add caption... I'm making it into a contest, so we can all have fun with it! |
p.s. I didn't coin the term 'dickture', but I don't think you can copyright language development anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment